Friday, August 22, 2008

Suffering: loss of a loved one

"Imre Kovasci, husband of Kathleen Kovacsi, emotionally reacts as he speaks about his wife's disappearance and the search for her while standing his wife's room at his home in Pasadena, Md. His wife Kathleen, a 57-year-old Alzheimer's sufferer, was last seen sleeping at her home on July 16. Her body would be found six days later just a tenth of a mile away in thick and overgrown wooded area."

Death is never an easy subject to tackle. Whether you're first-hand apart of one, a friend passing condolences to a peer or a reporter and photographer trying to tell the tragedy to others to help relate them to the story.

I thought I'd stick with the theme of covering a death and post another story I covered more than a month ago.

Kathleen Kovacsi, a 57-year-old Alzheimer's sufferer and wife of Imre Kovasci one night disappeared. She had wondered off before, but this time it was serious.

Last seen sleeping at her home on July 16, the family searched with neighbors, friends, family, and police for days.

Six days later, her body would be found just a tenth of a mile away in thick and overgrown wooded area from their home.

It was a tough loss for the family and we were lucky to get a glimpse inside the family's loss. Additionally, we also got to hear the joy they shared with their mother and wife before she passed.

Alzheimer's was not only a psychical part of Kathleen's life, but a emotional journey for Imre and the rest of his family.

Irme talked about everything from his college years and meeting her at College Park to the day he realized she had an illness.

He recalled her saying she took out the trash, when in fact she didn't. As the chronological story progressed, he made it apparent that his family had a full-time job caring for their loved one.

But in turn, not once did they ever regret it.

Like Imre, when we talk about death, we get naturally get upset. But sometimes we want to be bold, strong and hold back our emotions.

Thus is generally true from my experiences speaking to others on the record about their loss. But there is always that one moment they share that has such a deep meaning to it, and they show their loss emotionally.

Usually a touching moment, the story Irme shared was a tough one for him to talk about.

Happy to have his photograph taken throughout the interview, he reminded not only me, but the reporter too, of several things he thought would help those that have a loved one that suffered from Alzheimer's.

One thing was issuing some sort of ankle device to track their whereabouts. The other was just as important to him though. He wished he could pass to others as a general message to take lots of pictures of those you love.

See, his wife didn't like having her picture taken, so he didn't have many images of her to share.

Like pictures, since his wife suffered from memory loss among other effects of her disease, he spoke about how the little things mattered in his relationship. Since the romance was gone, things like when she would hold his hand for a brief moment or thank him for all that he does touched him.

Then couple months before her death he found something. This object was cherished and he spoke about how much it meant to him, but no longer had because he had given it to the police to help in the search.

Tucked under his pillow, it was the most recent picture of Kathleen with a message on the back.

It read: "I Love You."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, so touching. Thanks for this story. I have a father suffering from Alzheimer's.


Friday, August 22, 2008 5:34:00 PM  

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